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Whew, spent the better part of the weekend in the disgusting, hot attic. I've got waaay to much junk up there, and it is high time I got rid of a lot of it. This weekend I focused mainly on the books. I've simply hoarded collected too many, and I just can't keep all of them. So I am getting rid of 291 books.

I was rather impressed with myself; normally my cleaning endeavors don't go this well. Really though, I had a very good visualization technique. I would keep thinking: "I am moving into an apartment. Space is limited, and I need to cut down my book collection by 300 books." Worked like a charm. ;3 [FYI, I am not actually moving into an apartment just yet, alas.]

Some books I will give to friends, but most of them will be donated to the library. I do hope to sell a few books to a couple used bookstores too; I could go for an extra buck or two.

Anyway, more Bible ficlet as promised...

Title: An Easter Story – Part II: A Humorous Interlude
Fandom: the Bible (Book of Matthew in the New Testament)
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Summary: Troubled down in Hell, Asmodeus finds himself compelled to visit Jesus's tomb.
Notes: Any Biblical references here were derived from Matthew's rendition of the Resurrection. Time period set around 33 AD.


After Jesus Christ had left Hell with the righteous souls of humanity, Asmodeus had lain curled up in bed for what he had been certain would be a very long nap. In reality, he slept only for about six hours. He woke cuddled next to Marquise Leviathan and with the sudden, maddening inclination to go to Christ's tomb on Earth.

When he told Leviathan, she laughed, thinking he was joking. When she realized he was serious, she asked him not to go. Then she ordered him not to; however, it was almost impossible to stop a shadow master from going wherever they damn well pleased.

"Asmodeus," Leviathan said gently, already realizing her argument was lost, "why don't you just stay here?"

"I shall see you, dear heart, when I get back."

***

When Asmodeus arrived at Jesus's tomb, he was somehow not surprised to find Raphael already waiting there.

***

In retrospect, Asmodeus would think that Matthew, in his gospel, had treated the scene at the tomb all too kindly. Although Asmodeus would never read the Bible, he would hear about Matthew's resurrection story later and laugh.(1) Yes, there had been Mary Magdalene and another Mary.(2) And yes, Raphael, dazzling in his angelic robes, had given his noble pronouncement, and then supposedly Jesus had shown up as the two women went back to town. The way Matthew wrote about it, the whole thing came off as a beautiful moment in the history of Christianity. Matthew hadn't gotten the whole story though.

For example, there had also been Mary #2's fainting spell at the sight of an angel. Being the worried sap that he was, Raphael had immediately quit the tomb and gone to revive the poor woman. In the process, he had somehow managed to catch his wing on Mary #1's bonnet. Rather than meeting the women on their way to town, Jesus had had to come to the gravesite to help untangle Raphael and Mary #1, and, well, it had been altogether downright hilarious. Apparently there was an actual reason why Gabriel was the messenger.(3)

From his perch behind a boulder atop the tomb, Asmodeus had smirked and stifled laughter until the two rejoicing women had left with their Savior. Now, though, his amusement was fading, soured by the reality of what had happened. The Son of God had risen...humanity was redeemed...and Raphael's blissful, serene expression was making the Archdemon want to vomit.

Asmodeus resolved to fix at least the last of those problems.

tbc...
---------------
1. Repeatedly and in Raphael's face.
2. We'll call them Mary #1 and Mary #2, respectively.
3. It's true. Michael didn't project his voice enough, Uriel was too frigid, and Raphael and the other three Archangels just generally sucked at making announcements. However, on the first Easter, Gabriel was busy with the new souls in Heaven so Raphael helped out on Earth.



*****

After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And suddenly there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord, descending from heaven, came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow.

For fear of him, the guards shook and became like dead men. But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, 'He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.' This is my message for you."

So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them and said, "Greetings!" And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshipped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."
–Matthew 28:1-10




Date: 2010-07-12 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halosphere.livejournal.com
Hahaha XD Love the bit about "theres a reason Gabriel is the Messenger" XD This is so fun, thank you for sharing these!

Date: 2010-07-12 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuru-san.livejournal.com
Glad you enjoyed it! ^__^

Date: 2010-07-12 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
*snicker* I like this version of the resurrection much more. *grin* It's more realistic than the version Matthew wrote. *applauds* And Asmodeus would totally laugh in Raphael's face.

Date: 2010-07-12 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuru-san.livejournal.com
Isn't it much more entertaining? XD And yes, Asmodeus will never let Raphael live it down.

Asmodeus: *speaking in an obnoxious Monty Python holy-hand-grenade voice* And on the third day the Angel was at the tomb where the two women found him, and upon that holy ground he did frighten them causing one to fall fainting, sprawled on the ground like a drunk wench.

Raphael: Shut up.

Asmodeus: And thus he did stupidly catch his wing upon the other youthful strumpet's bonnet and make of himself a spectacle--

Raphael: SHUT UP.

Date: 2010-07-13 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
*snort* Yes, and Asmodeus would have this really wicked grin on his face that Raphael would find so very tempting in spite of himself. *smirk*

Good for you on thinning out the books, by the way. I forgot to mention it before. *grin*

Date: 2010-07-13 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuru-san.livejournal.com
Of course! Raphael is still standing there tolerating Asmodeus's bullshit after all. XD

I was rather surprised myself, haha. Now if only I can do just as well with the rest of the crap I've got in the attic.

Date: 2010-07-14 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jestana.livejournal.com
Exactly, and he can go away whenever he wants. *snerk*

I need to do something like that myself.

Date: 2010-07-12 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuru-san.livejournal.com
Oh hells yeah. Nothing like a little humiliation of one's enemies to lift the spirit, lol.

Date: 2010-07-12 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halosphere.livejournal.com
Have you ever done any role-playing? I play Raphael in RP and it would be fun to have an Asmodeus :D

Date: 2010-07-12 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuru-san.livejournal.com
Although I haven't rped for a few years, I used to be very active in the Underworld fandom, and I did a little historical one-on-one role-play. However, I'm currently doing the 9-to-5 job thing this summer, and then I start my 4th year of university this fall. Any free time I have left is going to my art and writing. Ergo I don't even think I could devote the time to a one-on-one rp let alone a group one, unfortunately. :(

I am flattered that you thought of me though.

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