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dragong who requested a Viktor/Soren humor/sentimental fic. After scrapping the first idea, this is what happened. It's not exactly sentimental (I'm fluff-impaired), but I like to pretend it's funny. *points to the title* And there are no actual wet dreams, by the way. Just thought I'd restate that...
Title: Wet Dreams
Fandom: Underworld
Pairing: Viktor/Soren
Rating: PG-15 (for slash, innuendo, blatant stupidity, and Viktor’s choice of nouns)
Disclaimer: I bet everyone is thanking God right now that they don't belong to me... -_-
Summary: Viktor has strange taste in clothes, hobbies, and potential lovers.
1388 A.D. [The author is assuming this is during Viktor’s reign. If she’s mistaken, please hesitate to correct her.]
The heavy velvet curtains blocked out the noon sunlight that would’ve otherwise been streaming through the halls of Ordoghaz. Instead, candlelight illuminated dim corridors, throwing shadows everywhere. The shadows hardly shifted at all save for a specter that slipped through them, and they clung to the figure like a shroud. The cloaked apparition moved soundlessly across carpets and hardwood floors, traversing half the mansion before at last entering the kitchens which were conveniently devoid of any servants.
Removing the hood and cloak, Viktor set it on an empty table along with the bag he’d been carrying. Taking one last cautious glance around, he opened his bag and took out...a lacey, magenta apron. Putting the garment on, Viktor sifted through the pouch removing a pie pan and ingredients. The Elder was going to make an apple pie. Truth be told, the older vampire had had plenty of time to experiment with the culinary arts so a pie would be easy. After all, when one is alive for hundreds of years—even if one is an Elder—one tends to find that they have a surplus of free time. Therefore, Viktor found himself a hobby: cooking. (And he was pretty damn good at it too.)
Mixing flour and other cooking-type ingredients, the Elder leisurely prepared a piecrust before starting to make the apple filling. So content was Viktor that he actually began to whistle a very merry little song.
(Author’sInterruption Note: Just for the record, the tune he was whistling came from a little ditty that starts off: “I feel pretty, oh so pretty and witty and—” Ahem. Back to the story...)
“Um, Lord Viktor?”
The shocked Elder whirled around to see—
~
Kraven: *jumps out* Me!
Author: *walks in from offstage* No! *glowers at Kraven over the rims of her glasses*
Kraven: *whimper* Please?
Author: NO! Cooperate or I’ll write you in a threesome with Pierce and Taylor!
Kraven: Eep.
Random Offstage Lycans: Eeeew!
Author: *ignores lycans* *to Kraven* Well? *eyetwitch of DOOM*
Kraven: *scuttles away*
Author: *stalks over to random closet and retrieves Soren from where Kraven shoved him* Okay, Soren, you stand here, and Viktor, you turn back around.
Viktor: *glares at Author* I hate you.
Author: Yeah, whatever. Take Two!
~
The shocked Elder whirled around to see Soren. Indeed, this was bad, but Viktor was well-aware that the situation could’ve been worse. At least, none of the council had walked in. The Elder stood silently with surprising patience as the janissary eye-balled him from head to toe, his gaze lingering for a particularly long amount of time on the ruffled pink apron.
“Well...” the younger vampire floundered, clearly embarrassed out of his mind, “you have, ah, a very interesting choice of pastimes, My Lord.”
Viktor noted that poor Soren looked like he very badly wanted to be anywhere but here. In fact, the Elder was utterly certain that as soon as he left, the janissary would tell his friend—Viktor’s daughter—Sonja, about this. Then the Elder would never live it down. Once Sonja knew about her father’s favorite hobby, the entire coven would undoubtedly hear of it. What a shame that’s not going to happen... Viktor thought sarcastically, an often-considered idea suddenly resurfacing in his mind.
“Perhaps,” the Elder purred to Soren, “I could give you incentive...not...to say...anything...about this...”
With each word, Viktor had moved another step toward Soren, and now they were nose to nose. Not even waiting for his overseer to protest or agree, the Elder cupped Soren’s face and brought their mouths together. The older vampire’s tongue insistently explored the other man’s, enjoying the taste much more than the pie he’d been cooking. Pushing Soren against the nearest wall, Viktor knelt down, fingers caressing his overseer’s hips.
“Tell me, Soren,” Viktor’s voice was as sultry as velvet, “when was the last time someone gave you a blowjob and actually did it well?”
The janissary inhaled sharply at the Elder’s blatant proposition. Viktor had waited ages to have the sexy vampire in his grasp. Granted, this wasn’t exactly the scenario he’d had in mind, but it would do...for now.
The Elder smiled wickedly and reached for the buttons on Soren’s pants. And then...
~~~
Water splashed over the sides of the bathtub as Viktor jerked awake.
“What the fuck?!” the Elder exclaimed. What happened? Why was he in his personal chambers? Where was Soren? After a few seconds of confuzzling shock, it hit him: he’d fallen asleep while taking a bath! In sheer frustration, Viktor let his head fall back where it abruptly smacked against the rim of the porcelain tub.
“Ow! SHIT!” Viktor yelled jumping to his feet. Almost immediately the vampire lost his footing and slipped, landing on his rear and sloshing even more water out of the tub. Sitting still in the tepid water, the Elder rubbed gingerly at the bump forming on the back of his head. He really had to stop dreaming about Soren...
~END~
dragong who requested a Viktor/Soren humor/sentimental fic. After scrapping the first idea, this is what happened. It's not exactly sentimental (I'm fluff-impaired), but I like to pretend it's funny. *points to the title* And there are no actual wet dreams, by the way. Just thought I'd restate that...Title: Wet Dreams
Fandom: Underworld
Pairing: Viktor/Soren
Rating: PG-15 (for slash, innuendo, blatant stupidity, and Viktor’s choice of nouns)
Disclaimer: I bet everyone is thanking God right now that they don't belong to me... -_-
Summary: Viktor has strange taste in clothes, hobbies, and potential lovers.
1388 A.D. [The author is assuming this is during Viktor’s reign. If she’s mistaken, please hesitate to correct her.]
The heavy velvet curtains blocked out the noon sunlight that would’ve otherwise been streaming through the halls of Ordoghaz. Instead, candlelight illuminated dim corridors, throwing shadows everywhere. The shadows hardly shifted at all save for a specter that slipped through them, and they clung to the figure like a shroud. The cloaked apparition moved soundlessly across carpets and hardwood floors, traversing half the mansion before at last entering the kitchens which were conveniently devoid of any servants.
Removing the hood and cloak, Viktor set it on an empty table along with the bag he’d been carrying. Taking one last cautious glance around, he opened his bag and took out...a lacey, magenta apron. Putting the garment on, Viktor sifted through the pouch removing a pie pan and ingredients. The Elder was going to make an apple pie. Truth be told, the older vampire had had plenty of time to experiment with the culinary arts so a pie would be easy. After all, when one is alive for hundreds of years—even if one is an Elder—one tends to find that they have a surplus of free time. Therefore, Viktor found himself a hobby: cooking. (And he was pretty damn good at it too.)
Mixing flour and other cooking-type ingredients, the Elder leisurely prepared a piecrust before starting to make the apple filling. So content was Viktor that he actually began to whistle a very merry little song.
(Author’s
“Um, Lord Viktor?”
The shocked Elder whirled around to see—
~
Kraven: *jumps out* Me!
Author: *walks in from offstage* No! *glowers at Kraven over the rims of her glasses*
Kraven: *whimper* Please?
Author: NO! Cooperate or I’ll write you in a threesome with Pierce and Taylor!
Kraven: Eep.
Random Offstage Lycans: Eeeew!
Author: *ignores lycans* *to Kraven* Well? *eyetwitch of DOOM*
Kraven: *scuttles away*
Author: *stalks over to random closet and retrieves Soren from where Kraven shoved him* Okay, Soren, you stand here, and Viktor, you turn back around.
Viktor: *glares at Author* I hate you.
Author: Yeah, whatever. Take Two!
~
The shocked Elder whirled around to see Soren. Indeed, this was bad, but Viktor was well-aware that the situation could’ve been worse. At least, none of the council had walked in. The Elder stood silently with surprising patience as the janissary eye-balled him from head to toe, his gaze lingering for a particularly long amount of time on the ruffled pink apron.
“Well...” the younger vampire floundered, clearly embarrassed out of his mind, “you have, ah, a very interesting choice of pastimes, My Lord.”
Viktor noted that poor Soren looked like he very badly wanted to be anywhere but here. In fact, the Elder was utterly certain that as soon as he left, the janissary would tell his friend—Viktor’s daughter—Sonja, about this. Then the Elder would never live it down. Once Sonja knew about her father’s favorite hobby, the entire coven would undoubtedly hear of it. What a shame that’s not going to happen... Viktor thought sarcastically, an often-considered idea suddenly resurfacing in his mind.
“Perhaps,” the Elder purred to Soren, “I could give you incentive...not...to say...anything...about this...”
With each word, Viktor had moved another step toward Soren, and now they were nose to nose. Not even waiting for his overseer to protest or agree, the Elder cupped Soren’s face and brought their mouths together. The older vampire’s tongue insistently explored the other man’s, enjoying the taste much more than the pie he’d been cooking. Pushing Soren against the nearest wall, Viktor knelt down, fingers caressing his overseer’s hips.
“Tell me, Soren,” Viktor’s voice was as sultry as velvet, “when was the last time someone gave you a blowjob and actually did it well?”
The janissary inhaled sharply at the Elder’s blatant proposition. Viktor had waited ages to have the sexy vampire in his grasp. Granted, this wasn’t exactly the scenario he’d had in mind, but it would do...for now.
The Elder smiled wickedly and reached for the buttons on Soren’s pants. And then...
~~~
Water splashed over the sides of the bathtub as Viktor jerked awake.
“What the fuck?!” the Elder exclaimed. What happened? Why was he in his personal chambers? Where was Soren? After a few seconds of confuzzling shock, it hit him: he’d fallen asleep while taking a bath! In sheer frustration, Viktor let his head fall back where it abruptly smacked against the rim of the porcelain tub.
“Ow! SHIT!” Viktor yelled jumping to his feet. Almost immediately the vampire lost his footing and slipped, landing on his rear and sloshing even more water out of the tub. Sitting still in the tepid water, the Elder rubbed gingerly at the bump forming on the back of his head. He really had to stop dreaming about Soren...
~END~
no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 07:53 pm (UTC)*blinks innocently* I have no idea what you could possibly mean...
no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:05 pm (UTC)my ego saysThank you!no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 04:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 05:15 pm (UTC)XD *or laughing...* *cough, trying to think of something to say*
Hum. I like your choice of words for this fic... *grin*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 06:57 pm (UTC); )
no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 07:46 pm (UTC)Man, you rock! Thanks by the way, I loved it!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 09:00 pm (UTC)Kraven: ME!
Author: NO!!
such a silly cute little fic.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-22 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-08 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 12:12 am (UTC)